03.09.2013

Today I got a call from my Guruji. CC what happened ? For the past three days  HE(Lord Krishna) is recommending to me to speak to you. First two days I didn’t care. Today HE started telling me ...with anger…either you speak or you delete her number from your mobile. My Guruji laughed …heartily …it is indeed the laughter of DIVINE.

My eyes were welling up with tears!

My guruji is observing silence and he had given me chance to speak to him on my birthday on 24^th August  by keeping his mobile on for the whole day.

After that on Krishna Jayanthi I expected his blessings but I missed when he called me up once and thereafter when I tried he kept his mobile off.

After that for the past three four days I was busy with discussions on conducting Upanayana for my Son.

One thing is my son wanted to wear Poonal.  I am not strictly into all rituals but I took it as Lord’s wish. Since my consciousness showed that it is being arranged by the Lord.

All informations came up spontaneously and one of my very close neighbour took all initiatives in getting information in conducting the same at Tirupathi. I could feel it is Lord’s wish and HE is doing it.

You know nothing could happen so easily without some hurdles which HE places. My in-laws agreed..it is they who should sit for the ritual.

You know my marriage happened through Lord’s will and I had always encouraged my husband to do his duty to his parents and he also did it even though before marriage he was not so.

In my side my sister & her husband were so loving that they do anything for my son which I too reciprocate since I base my life on love.

Now that when I called-up my sister & her husband to attend and bless my son they said it is not agreeable to them and they are not attending.

I could not say anything. Some of my very close and good friends were Brahmins and the worst-side of my life also I had seen through others of  same community by keeping away people in the name of custom and being partial. My husband was a gem among Brahmins he never even in thought excluded people.

When I checked my brother he is giving excuses of Telungana issue that their college is also participating in strike..he is not able to come. I asked whether as maternal uncle you will be present? He started in a flow…see they won’t allow non-brahmins…it is a communal ritual. As maternal uncle I need to chant mantras they will not accept.  True my mother-in-law is so orthodox.  But what he presumes will not happen since no one is that bad.

My heart had gone beyond all these and love is the only thing I value. Any ritual which is not heartful looses its meaning.

I could not say anything but one thing which I could make out is people are limited by their own beliefs and not able to transcend it to see the heart beyond. I needed only blessings for my son on that day and nothing-else.

Yesterday my heart was heavy. I spoke to my mother she gave her fullest blessings and asked me not to worry.

Yesterday night I was in tears and I asked the Lord…You took all responsibility for me…but now see what happens. See the hearts which narrows down and even within family we are not united. We make hell out  of this world. And for the past three days I am trying to speak to my Guruji in vain getting…the message of switched off. So I asked HIM ..now the grace of Guru you deny ..you are not speaking to me physically…tangibly…! Whom do I know in this world except you?

Today I got the answer. I poured  my heart  at HIS feet and my Guruji  blessed stating ”Do not worry . It is blessed by the Lord and it is He  who does it !” It is not my Guru who spoke. It is the LORD who spoke…!

It is as though the Lord whispering “YOU ARE SPEICIAL TO ME” “I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN”