Mahalakshmi’s wealth

03.02.2015

Mahalakshmi’s wealth


We worship  Goddess Mahalakshmi for wealth. What does wealth stands for?  Is it money in its tangible form? Or does it mean gold coins pouring in abundance as depicted in the pictures? Most of the times mahalakshmi is identified with money which is not the right understanding 
World is withheld by opposite energies. Like a lotus blooming amidst mud…heavan amidst hell Mahalaksmi is with alakshmi .. Money  most of the time evokes alakshmi. Mahalakshmi’s presence creates peace…contentment by filling us with right things at right time. What we experience   makes the difference showing in whose presence we are. 
If our heart blooms like pure lotus  Goddess Mahalakshmi comes in filling us with richness of  soul treasures . We can keep on growing lotus amidst mud.. 

vishnupriya speaks

26.12.2014

So unmatchable is the love of Lord. So many treasures of knowledge HE  infuses ever which I am not
able to put in words. All emotional sensitivity which has got its own negative side are allowed to let go through life experiences. HE manifested in physical form as Guru & teared off all society created rules giving life to LOVE in its original form. Feeling hurt out of insensitive behaviours … not out of anger but out of compassion  questioning within why should we create hell around us…all are made to let go…!

My Guru used to say… in maya do you think that Bhakti alone is good? Everybody is doing HIS job
equally. It is HIS maya .He has kept maya so powerful with which HE plays by drawing souls in & out…! So never blame the children…they are puppets  in HIS hands. Only HE is to be blamed because everything emerges from HIM & ultimately dissolves in HIM.

My problem is taking everyone’s difficulties to my heart & being burdened by it. When I am not able to console my heart my Guru’s storming words came. Let go off  your compassion. Bring peace within without worrying about outside world. Compassion is part of jnana  not the whole. I was stunned. I asked without it I feel  I am hard hearted? My guru explained…Have you seen people making palm jaggery. In semi-liquid form is it usable? Once it becomes hard jaggery is usable. Does it mean that it has lost its sweetness?. You retain your own sweetness. Be in it!

Everything is HIM. Jnana requires strength of mind which my Guru insists often . He used to say Be Bold! Move on. You may hear a loud bang. Never stop & look back. Jnana is only for the strong..the moment you are caught into weakness, maya  will crash you down twisting and turning you amidst its powerful waves! Be knowledgeable. Grace shines through your intelligence! Catch hold of it!

To my wonder I am in surrender & Bhakti , the Lord reacts and bring answers for each & every thought which arises within. My guru is none other than narayana who had drawn me in madhurya bhava. For melting heart the Lord comes & infuses jnana the ultimate. Love is so powerful in its pure form attracting the supreme intelligence to fill it.

I had seen it acts even in most external worldly level protecting the divine heart. I had seen even amidst corporate violence it works so beautifully to bring peace within. In the path of surrender the Divine guides us in each & every step even though we are deep in ignorance not knowing the ties within!

You know a sannyasi coming to my home attracts critics but each and every visit of my Guru happens neither by my will nor HIS will but the divine will. He never visits houses even if devotees long for. He used to say….this self is directed by HIM. He had tied me. I could come only if HE allows.

Before navrathri  I was not in a mood to celebrate… I was lamenting Krishna you are the head of this
house …you are my all ..Param purusha . Without physical presence of Head of this house there is no point in celebration.

To my wonder my son while calling up my Guru ..was calling him to Chennai. Guru refused…! My son was persistent saying I will not write the exam(he is in class X) if you do not give me a word. I was telling my son… please do not invite him against HIS will. Jnani’s are so great that we should abide by their will so that blessing will be there for us!. But he didn’t even care for my words… I do not know’ma  he may be God to you..but he is my friend. That’s all I know I will call him. He kept on persisting & then my Guru consented to come on third day of navrathri. Next day he called-up saying I am prepared to give ten days to Devi. So book tickets the day before navrathri!.

After everything happened I could realize the power of love drawing the Lord in physical form to fulfill the remote desire of this simple soul.

Again this time during the first day of  month of marghazi(Dhanur) I was telling the Lord. All those years I had come to temple to worship you during this month. This time I am going to worship you peacefully at home. Krishna this time You come home  to hear my songs! To my wonder my guru called during Christmas asking to book a ticket to Chennai. Reason is HE is near the seashore …the toilet tank was  filled by sand & work needed to be undertaken for few days by the devotees. Now HE is with us. Most rewarding is the LORD is here on Vaikunda Ekadasi day in HIS physical form!

You know I had so many differences of opinions with my Guru. All arose out of conditioning of mind which negates original love giving life to stressful rules. I used to think we should not speak to him at all He represents everything contradictory. He slashes bhakti…! He blames God. I used to pray on the most beautiful form of Krishna by chanting mahamantra telling Him only you I trust!. You know when I cried praying like this once….I got a call from my guru…CC I do not know it is as though something is pulling my heart  to you so I called. I was wonderstruck since I had never prayed to the Form of Guru. The same place from where I got all abuses …I was seeing Krishna. It is right that he is called mayavan(magician). I experience it fully. The play is ultimately to infuse jnana. The process of let go is so painful especially with which you carry from your childhood onwards…The thought of good or bad…ugly or pure… God or devil…all bias lying hidden at subconscious level  are to be freed!

03.09.2013

Today I got a call from my Guruji. CC what happened ? For the past three days  HE(Lord Krishna) is recommending to me to speak to you. First two days I didn’t care. Today HE started telling me ...with anger…either you speak or you delete her number from your mobile. My Guruji laughed …heartily …it is indeed the laughter of DIVINE.

My eyes were welling up with tears!

My guruji is observing silence and he had given me chance to speak to him on my birthday on 24^th August  by keeping his mobile on for the whole day.

After that on Krishna Jayanthi I expected his blessings but I missed when he called me up once and thereafter when I tried he kept his mobile off.

After that for the past three four days I was busy with discussions on conducting Upanayana for my Son.

One thing is my son wanted to wear Poonal.  I am not strictly into all rituals but I took it as Lord’s wish. Since my consciousness showed that it is being arranged by the Lord.

All informations came up spontaneously and one of my very close neighbour took all initiatives in getting information in conducting the same at Tirupathi. I could feel it is Lord’s wish and HE is doing it.

You know nothing could happen so easily without some hurdles which HE places. My in-laws agreed..it is they who should sit for the ritual.

You know my marriage happened through Lord’s will and I had always encouraged my husband to do his duty to his parents and he also did it even though before marriage he was not so.

In my side my sister & her husband were so loving that they do anything for my son which I too reciprocate since I base my life on love.

Now that when I called-up my sister & her husband to attend and bless my son they said it is not agreeable to them and they are not attending.

I could not say anything. Some of my very close and good friends were Brahmins and the worst-side of my life also I had seen through others of  same community by keeping away people in the name of custom and being partial. My husband was a gem among Brahmins he never even in thought excluded people.

When I checked my brother he is giving excuses of Telungana issue that their college is also participating in strike..he is not able to come. I asked whether as maternal uncle you will be present? He started in a flow…see they won’t allow non-brahmins…it is a communal ritual. As maternal uncle I need to chant mantras they will not accept.  True my mother-in-law is so orthodox.  But what he presumes will not happen since no one is that bad.

My heart had gone beyond all these and love is the only thing I value. Any ritual which is not heartful looses its meaning.

I could not say anything but one thing which I could make out is people are limited by their own beliefs and not able to transcend it to see the heart beyond. I needed only blessings for my son on that day and nothing-else.

Yesterday my heart was heavy. I spoke to my mother she gave her fullest blessings and asked me not to worry.

Yesterday night I was in tears and I asked the Lord…You took all responsibility for me…but now see what happens. See the hearts which narrows down and even within family we are not united. We make hell out  of this world. And for the past three days I am trying to speak to my Guruji in vain getting…the message of switched off. So I asked HIM ..now the grace of Guru you deny ..you are not speaking to me physically…tangibly…! Whom do I know in this world except you?

Today I got the answer. I poured  my heart  at HIS feet and my Guruji  blessed stating ”Do not worry . It is blessed by the Lord and it is He  who does it !” It is not my Guru who spoke. It is the LORD who spoke…!

It is as though the Lord whispering “YOU ARE SPEICIAL TO ME” “I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN”

13.08.2012

Yesterday a shocking dream I got. It is not dream as such. It came as a premonition. It happened at a stage when I was about to wake at around 5.30 A.M. It is that Kala has died.(We were living in their house for rent from 2000 till 2006.) She has got two children One girl married & one son just completed aeronautical engineering. She has got health problems but not so serious. She is just 47 years old. Actually she does so much for devotees of God…she is so religious. She had done so many annadhanams. But one thing she is somewhat attached much to the property & there were problems in dividing the property in their family. So she used to be stress-filled without peace of mind. Really I could see her spirit body detaching from her body with a huge sound Oh……..! Totally shocked. Normally I never call her. Very rarely she speaks to me but she is full of love. Last Friday I felt like calling her thinking about her love and spoke to her. She was so…happy & was telling after speaking to you…it is as though I had off loaded my head. Yesterday I went there. She was so happy she compelled me to have meals there and treated me godlike. Such a love. But you know God’s plans….HE is an undisturbed murderer sometimes. He is a Jnani! He never bothers when time comes to take back a soul.I felt that Lord had sent me to give her peace during her last chapter  of life.

You know why I am posting this? I do not know whether  it may happen within months or perhaps a year. But one thing people say…if you tell your dream out…it will not happen. If there is some truth in it then let it be… making me happy!

HOLI

08.03.2012

Today is a blessed day. Every day is so but receptivity we miss amidst our busy schedule.

You know today is HOLI festivel. In south it is not celebrated much, even though my heart conversed with the Lord let me see in which colour you are going to wish me today…!

You know no one could ever override the Lord in love.

While driving my two wheeler I noticed a car in front of me . I didn’t notice at first but it was all the way before my vehicle when I saw the words”Nee aaseervathamai irruppai”. Meaning “you will be a blessed one….!”. You know down below was the picture of interlocking circles with rainbow colours representing colourful HOLI

I am reproducing a sample of those seven circles with VIBGYOR colour at best I could…!

HIS ways are so…great .Everything is his tool of expression & HE showers colorful BLESSINGS for us on the Eternal space…!

29.09.11

This Navratri celebration has started. Two days back my heart was in deep grievance when I got blessings from my Guruji stating…Be Laxmi Devi & do Pooja with Laxmi Kadaksha!

See my worldly ties are over & this one year I do not wanted to celebrate pooja but I do not want to leave it as such & in a simple way I thought of doing pooja.

Emergence of Goddess self within …the realizations & awakening I had after meeting my Guruji is something which I never even thought of…!. When I removed my Mangal Sutra on December 1^st 2010 I was shocked to see the Tirupathi Calender which was printed as the Goddess in white saree with Tulsi alone without any flowers. And the next month the same Goddess statue was donated by some devotee to the Tirupathi devastanam temple.It was as though Devi has joined back with the Lord indicating the return of soul to HOME

And my heart was between the world & the Lord. I cried….You assured me the goddess status whereas the treatment of world to a women who lost her husband would be different...why this? What is true…please tell me.

See my heart is such that I see God even amidst most materialistic world & so accepting something beyond this physical world alone ignoring the manifested world did not go with my nature

I received a call immediately after this from my mother.This has happened in december 1^st 2010. She was telling amidst tears…here it is heavy rain & I could see a cow near the gate crying Amma Amma… I felt it is you in the form of Mahalaxmi crying…I prayed ..if it is true please come & get the banana from me & to my wonder it passed the gate came to our door step & ate banana from my hand.

This was the assurance I got from the Lord Himself .

See even after so many assurances given, for many days I hesitated to take kumkum Prasad & flowers. Then I started keeping flowers only if it came as Lord’s Prasad.

Yeasterday one beautiful event happened. In Tirupathi Devastanam temple normally they keep as prasad only Tulsi or other flowers which women normally do not wear in head like Arali or chrysanthemum. So many jasmine flowers would be there which they reserve to very few people & do not distribute. This has always made me sad since giving liberally the jasmine flowers to devotees would make them smile…why this demarcation?

Yesterday I carried jasmine flowers to keep around two devi’s at the Lords chest & as I gave the flowers the person who got it kept it down & another person who came to do Arathi pushed away those flowers. My flower bag was returned with tied red roses.

Somehow I felt so upset & started fighting with the Lord. ..See this is first day of Narathri & are you going to send me being upset by not accepting the flowers. I wouldn’t say the people doing arathi did not wear the flowers to you…because you are Almighty & it is you who activates them. It is you who didn’t accept the flower given with true loving heart. Moreover what flowers have you given back?. How could it be worn? Can’t you give some jasmine flowers being the day of Navrathri & you know I will not wear flowers myself except given by you. Ok whatever you do… do ….with tears & anger this fight spontaneously arose in me. I could see the face of the Lord shrinking…!

You know what happened…the person who kept the flowers down searched for it took it back & again kept in front of the Lord. Again the other person pushed it away. Again the person who received the flowers took it & asked the other person to keep for the Lord. Now the other person took away all jasmine flowers worn by the Lord & filled it in a bucket & kept the flower which I brought on the chest of the Lord. You know one of the mala went inside the bucket & they searched for it & worn it to the Lord. Never it happened at that temple. My heart was in bliss.

To top the experience..see how the grace of Lord works., the person who received the flower from me took a bundle of jasmine flowers & gave it in my hands which I soulfully embraced with my heart. You know the expression of Lord with bubbling smile I could see.

And to my wonder the tub is filled with jasmine flowers for distribution to all devotees which never before happened.

Today morning I went to Saradha math. Devi is in Hamsavahana decoration so beautiful with a enchanting smile. I prayed…and again doubt arose within…Devi you are the maya Shakthi of this manifested world. Through Guruji I could realize the Goddess self within where all the soul experiences of the feminine part of Lord Narayana was given to me. I do not know now what is my position ? As a widow of my worldly Husband or as the bride of the Param Purusha. What am I. You assure me. If you assure that I could do all auspicious pooja’s as the bride of the Lord, give me some flowers or else I would accept the tangible position given by this world.

I was praying & there is no trace of anyone giving flowers…I turned back & started moving out of temple…ok ma I accept what you give…yes the world is also your manifestation & I should 100percent abide by the rules…! I started moving out.

One of the person doing pooja was standing there at the doorstep of the temple…he called me back inside the temple(see this has never happened before) took the flowers from the plate..& gave me. My heart knew no bounds of happiness! Now that I received from the source….! So I do not care for any objection from manifested creation for they do not see behind the veil!

15.09.11

Days pass by. So many heart touching events which I had taken in a detached mood. Yes even after Lord made me realize the temporarary nature of life, my heart was suffering to recover from the blow of life. I was thinking anyway how hard the life may be,living alone parting a soul with whom I lived meant nothing …! Yesterday again the curtain of maya was in full making me think of all positive things I lost after my husband’s demise. Early morning I had a dream…I was speaking to one of my Husband’s colleague by name Balaji. He is leading a family life with his wife & children. It is as though in dream his wife has died & I am enquiring him how life goes on…the children would get affected more…! Next I was thinking perhaps he must have got a devoted wife & truly very difficult for him to bear. So I asked the next question hesitantly…what nature is your wife? Suddenly he replies in Tamil.I will reproduce the words” Appadi ontum kaaviya vaZhkai naanga vallalai’ meaning “Not like that we lived so great love life”.Immediately I reply. Yes we too like that .So I am able to atleast bear the loss.

See this conversation is as though the Lord educating me. Yes balaji name of the Lord . The life we lived is not so binding since my husband’s nature itself is he is so disinterested in life whereas I am opposite. I place my heart & soul at everything I do. Almost all household decoration or improvement or pooja everything I do without his involvement. And hardly very few places we go out together since my husband is disinterested in going out & only out of my compulsion accompany me.

I used to take positive things to my life forgetting negatives at once. But the Lord is full as a conscious witness & an impartial judge. So he asks me ..have you lived so great a love life to worry unnecessarily?

Why don’t you let go? Behold my Eternal everflowing Love & Grace!

Lord affirms…Lord fills…He rushes as an unfailing power! Yet our weak human hearts held in bondage struggle to accept & respond…! HE waits patiently for us to turn towards HIM! Even after acceptance as a feminine aspect of HIM, this soul suffers out of its own ignorance!

08.08.11

Days pass by but the love of Lord which never fails proves again and again like the untiring waves of the Ocean. You know so many little things which I could never write down in words happen & the miraculousness of events now has become so casual which I should be aware & awake to Truth.

See even in little things HE cares. When I was alone waiting for the Lab report yesterday when I felt lonely thinking of missing tangible presence of my husband , suddenly I got a call wherein my husband’s colleague called me. He was working with my husband & true to say I value his services more than my own brother’s. He asked me where I am since he was just coming to my home, I detailed the reason for which I was waiting. Within five ten minutes he was there , accompanied me to doctor, got the medicines & then left. I was speechless by the way Grace worked because I was praying to the Lord ,anyway this tangible presence I am missing ,if he was there he would have got medicines for me. The moment any longing arises in me HE rushes to fill it. What penance have I done for that? To be at the lap of gracious Divine…! Nothing I desire when HE fills everything! See how grace works. Here I am a tangible proof.

Last Saturday it so happened that I was wearing a red chudidhar. When I was taking out flowers from my fridge to be taken to the Lord, I found a single red Bangalore Rose. A thought flashed for a moment that I could keep it since it matches my dress. Next moment casually I felt no and I took the flower for the Lord along with other flowers.

I used to buy regularly Nagalinga Flowers from a flower selling lady near Sringeri Saradha Math on the way to office. For the past one year I was buying and never I had seen her keeping Bangalore roses. As usual I got the flower from her& hanged it on the hook of my two wheeler. I raised my head to see the lady laughing with a red Bangalore rose & telling keep this flower on your head. Who said you should not keep flowers. Right from our birth we start keeping flowers. Why should we leave it in between?. Have this flower! It matches your dress! I was stunned. It was as though God communicating to me. He gives me personally a flower from HIS heart which no treasures in this world would match!

I wanted to share an experience which happened two months back. Last Navrathri celebration at our home was very vibrant that it manifested in the Prasad as Devi’s hand blessing. I will post the picture of it taken and kept preciously by me. I did Kanya Pooja to kids from my neighbhouring flat treating them as Goddess Lakshmi. They were Vaishnavas. Their grandma an old lady was telling that after taking Dhiksha from our Guru, we don’t go to shakthi temple and take kumkum Prasad. One of my aunt is also strong Vishnu devotee & she never goes to Shakthi temple. I had been brought up in major shaiva worship but it included worship all the Gods. And I was devoted to Sri Ramakrishna who never excluded any religion.

I was awakened by the Lord in the form of Hiranyagarbha as my Guru. After the demise of my Husband I got a small doubt. Everything was over…so with the celebration of navrathri. Does the Lord says that enough is the external austerities performed! Be immersed in me! And it is Devi in the form of Maya who pervades this Universe. Does he keeps me away from Devi worship thereby withdrawing my soul from Maya? But you know while reciting ‘Abirami Andadhi’ the bliss & love we feel…I couldn’t such resist it. Can such a loveful worship be withdrawn? It was not possible for me to keep away from Devi worship. You know when such thoughts pervaded me, I got a call from my Guru. Normally whenever my guru calls we used to chant Hare Rama Mahamantra & nothing else. Not even a single day he asked from me any other thing except a few songs of Vishnu if time permits. That day I started the mantra ,he immediately intervened.CC stop. I want to hear Abhirami Andathi from you. Please sing a few poems of ‘abhirami andhadhi’ and after that finish with Maha mantra. I was in tears. How the Lord reveals the truth….no narrow-mindedness could ever bind ME! And after hearing the poems he uttered…CC I was in ecstasic tears. Henceforth whenever you call me you should sing few songs of abirami andhathi! This is direct from Lord! Supreme is his ABODE. Limitless is HIS grace! Nothing could contain HIM!

One more incident I would like to share. My cousin sister’s son is with us since five months. He got postings in Head Post Office & leaving his MBA he joined over there. That was on one auspicious day I think & at 9 PM I need to call my Guruji. We were speaking and the topic rested on swamiji. My cousin sister’s son asked me what do you think of swamiji? I said….the Lord reveals to me the core of everyone’s heart if needed & the only person who is mysterious is my GURU. I could never grasp him. Even I have difference of opinions with him. I used to argue sometimes. I had received topmost experience of ecstasy & no mind state from Him. I experienced Lord Krishna through HIM! Also entirely upside down experiences I had. I could see in HIM both Ganges & ditch water mingle. Such a contradiction! I could never define HIM this or that. He is full with existence sometimes & totally kills existence other times! Supreme words of Lord emerge from him & worse words of a lay man too. He used to be in ecstasic tears hearing maha mantra or songs of the Lord. At the same time he abuses the Lord!. He keeps mind as the final truth whereas I keep heart as final truth. He is the one great mystery which I couldn’t solve.

I described my guru as above, suddenly I remembered I need to call Him. I said to my sister’s son, ok I will speak to him & after that we all can recite maha mantra to him. The moment I called, my guruji said, CC I was writing a poem…can I read it,,try if you could understand. My Guruji’s poetic tamil used to be like old traditional poets. He read…I am giving just the translation of what he has written addressing the Lord.

” To rule over me , I approached YOU”.

YOU asked “Did you witnessed ME just by approaching me ?

Having left “ I & You” your state of being has become my state of being!(In tamil “Naan Nee Entathai vittathal Vun Nilai En Nilai Anathae”)

It is not the poem he has written to the Lord. It came as a reply to what we discussed! Nothing in this world HE could not hear!.Nothing in this world which HE could not solve!