I am unable to post everytime logging in. I write down time to time the experiences which is heartfelt which I will be sharing under the label "From my diary".

Tirumala painstaking incidence

06.05.11

Last Friday night I couldn,t sleep. Cries of amma amma amma nonstop were lingering in my ears. . I was trying to stop it but couldn’t. It was rushing into my ears.It was as though a cry heard at the death of someone's mother. My heart was praying to the Lord. Oh! Lord so far you have made me hear so many Mangala(auspiscious) words. Why such amangala(inauspiscious ) cry is heard. I have experienced many times vedic mantra sounds rising from within me but never such a cry. I was thinking whether something happened to my mother and whether it was to foretell my cry. It was a female voice. I was praying… just now I am recovering slowly from a big blow…oh Lord my heart would never bear another. Why this nonstop loud cry which makes my heart spin with pain?. I repeated gayathri manthra by will. Normally I do not compel myself to recite mantras. It flows many time spontaneously from within. But now to move away from the loud cry I was trying to recite gayatri mantra. But the cry was overriding it. I didn’t sleep literally. Early morning Saturday at five I was out of bed with painful urinary track infection. I was trying all methods to get rid of it. I took an antibiotic I was praying why Lord you make me suffer like this?.

But today really I got the answer to it. While reading the news at Dinamalar, I could see the news of 14 year old girl raped at Tirumala by a guard at Friday ,the whole night. I was in tears. How the soul of the girl would have cried….! Such thing happened in my Lords place. How shameful. Such a tender child in the hands of vulgarities of Human mind.

Tirumala is the place where the Goddess is to be revered. All women in the form of Goddess are to be equally revered. Srinivasan …the name of the Lord itself wraps the Goddess within as a precious treasure. Why this much lust have come into human minds? Where love has gone? My soul cries deep. Relieve me out of this planet. I am unable to bear the pain and see hardheartedness around. Let my soul move away and fly deep into the precious core heart where eternal pure love is treasured never to return again.