Long time since, I write today after a vision I had yesterday.Most of these days grace is not missing but the emptiness that filled me had drowned me apart.So soft...as  a flower I offered myself Unto the Lord....but the play of life...hard experiences which struck ,made me sooo dead.... as though all my liveliness had evaporated in the deserted life....! The communication flow with the ETERNAL which I missed amidst the thick cloud of difficulties....pushing aside the whole world...! But for my son whole of my being longed for a peaceful lay...leaving behind this lust-filled ....material world never to come back...!
I read saint's life who experienced peak of ecstasy & came across the words"dark night of the soul"
Is it so? Am I in it? When I discussed with one of my well-wisher in Ramanashram..he said no...no...you do not have that phase at all. It is not at all possible! True every time I breathe divine....live in HIM! But it is as though all ecstasy is lost....all communication ended...with no answer from within....!

Yesterday I got it ....My soul travels.....my heart asks why Lord all this unexpected turnings....& so empty feel...in my heart.I got the reply as ....It is you who chose it!.

Yes at the age of sixteen when I am sooo in to the loving worship of Lord Muruha...my heart wished HIM to be my son &  that I need marriage only for that.

So yes it is all chosen from within...I accepted silently...but with a longing I asked HIM... how long this emptiness....do I need to travel like this all along....?

Immediately HE says...wait for sometime...Adi Sesha will come....you will be relieved of worries....!
The same moment at a distance... I see Five headed Adi sesha manifesting in brown colour with orange tinge...! I worship him & a Jyothi from HIM comes towards me as a blessing!

The vision of God & Godess in brown with orange tinge colour I had seen earlier once Devi Karumari & Once when I had the vision of Sri Venkateswara.

I wanted to see the meaning of that colour & browsed & got the following meanings

Meaning of the Color Brown

Brown says stability, reliability, and approachability. It is the color of our earth and is associated with all things natural or organic.

How the color brown affects us physically and mentally
* Feeling of wholesomeness
* Stability
* Connection with the earth
* Offers a sense orderliness

I feel when the Spirit of the Lord descent to Earth HE manifests this colour! 

I further read details about Adi Sesha which previously I was unaware except HE is the bed of the LORD & came to know HE is one of Nitya Suris.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shesha

With love in Divine

Vishnupriya