Shock of Life....unexpressible....sudden demise of my husband on 22.11.10. A day dawned to receive my rain of tears...! Yes rain flooded even whole of Tamil Nadu! The whole nature cried with me!A person who lived yesterday....no more today. Very difficult to digest....the pain imposed by nature...! Heart shattering and cry of soul....! What is life....? Journey towards death...! Hardest truth which struck us....! What we carry...? Nothing....! Within seconds he is gone in sleep without any pain leaving us in deepest pain.

All I do...breathe..is Divine and our marriage too happened in such a way arranged and blessed by divine! 12 years of married life...! Like a Yagna I lived this life. Yes... my heart wished to raise up a simple egoless selfless soul so neglected just because he is not smart materialistically. Life was so full of thorns with blooming roses amidst. Compared to so smart cunning money minded prestige bound souls...he used to be different! Evaporation of money I had seen in his hands...! He do not take responsibility...aloof...with not much desires...! Very tensed and short tempered that it is very difficult to live with but for his simple and selfless heart I bore everything. He do not do anything for himself even a good dress he is not interested. I used to do everything for him. Not even a trace of ego I found in him. Materialistically he saved nothing...but spiritually he is in surrender. He used to call me Aatha...(mother). More of motherly affection I got that I felt him as a child of me...! I wanted to raise him up before others! All my prayers were for it. He left his body as a king. He was holding top position which most of his own remote relatives were aware of only during his demise. Most of the people have abused him and made fun of him that he would not come up in life. Simple egoless souls are to be raised up...! Lord comes to the world for it! My intention was not to my benefit which others may be unaware...but the Lord knows! Now everything is over!. My karma is finished. 35 yrs of Navrathri celebration right from my childhood has come to an end. No kriyas henceforth...! The Lord is my all...! Indeed I couldn't stop crying...missing my neither egobound...positionbound...moneybound son to say!