27.03.2012

I should say here I am from non-brahmin community whereas my husband was a Brahmin.I am not aware of these rituals. On the third day of his death I could see a vision between my eyebrows that curd rice along with Thughaiyal(It is hot chillies & coconut paste) is there on a plantain leaf & my mouth feels watery. Immediately I thought perhaps my husband asks for curd rice & thughaiyal. So I should do it for him.But later I learned that on 12^th day there is a ritual in which a Brahmin carries home curd rice & thughaiyal.

In between I need to tell about another vision. I had a small desire to wear mangalsutra if it comes direct from Lord. Once in dream I had the vision of Lord holding the mangalsutra & he asks me…Whether I should bless you in a traditional way or in the way of divine love now you live that is not bound by tradition. I should say always my heart reconciles the world with the Lord. Beauty of tradition I love but dry rituals I am not for it. I asked for the both the positive combined blessing

On 20^th March 2012, I had a vision between my eyebrow. I could see the face of my husband & I could see the bones and little blood with flesh on cheeks & his mouth holding Pinda. Water is poured above it which he consumes & the seesame seeds were scattered all over the face.

When I had the above vision I saw in calendar that Amavasya (No moon day)is nearing .Its on 22^nd.

All the rituals of death were made by my brother in law & my son is not entitled till wearing sacred thread.

You know after this I had a dilemma should a Brahmin priest should do it or we with loveful heart do it.

Because of commercialization of the rituals my heart was in a dilemma. I prayed to the lord. As your feminine part I keep this Pinda…. I placed three pindas I do not know how many to place even. I topped it with seesame seeds & I poured water on it. I prayed the lord…if it is accepted I should get a vision & if not from next time I will do it by engaging a Brahmin priest.

The pindas were eaten by crow. One pinda is almost fully gone.

While lying down at night I had the vision between my brows. A mouth opens like a shadow & single seesame seeds like rain drops swiftly drift into it. I first thought it is my husband’s mouth. But I noted a clear difference. I concentrated more….to my wonder the lips are so beautifully curved lips of child Krishna…..!

See it is sure everything is HE. We cling on to dry rituals. But soulful worship at any form is enough for the Lord..! Place the heart….that is the magnetic way to attract the Lord. No rituals or scriptures could define or bind HIM. HE is above all!